I'm writing this in hopes that this will find someone out there and help them.
I never really thought of myself as special or worth anything. I thought that the majority of my friends were only nice to my face because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. I doubted everyone.
When I was younger I was told that I was stupid, that I should dye my hair blond so everyone would already know that I was dumb. Some people say that it was only a joke...but that 'joke' still upsets me to this day. It's not as often as it used to be, but sometimes I still feel like that girl that is too dub to amount to anything.
I still feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. Like no matter what I do or how hard I try I'm just not worth the attention.
There's this boy, I call him a boy because he doesn't deserve the title of man, and I've had this on again/off again crush that has led absolutely nowhere. No matter how hard I've tried or how obvious I've made it nothing happens. And as hard as it is I need to get over it. I feel like if I'm not good enough for him, who will I be good enough for? He knows me so well and I've given him so much of my time and still I'm not good enough. I know he's no good for me, but I keep holding onto this hope that maybe one day something I do will finally be enough.
And I know this is stupid. I've begun to see just how amazing of a person I am! I'm finally learning to love myself and be confident in who I am. Love is Louder has made me see that I am good enough for others. I don't need to worry about what others think of me or if they say hurtful things to me...I'm me and if you don't like that you can get over it.
I encourage all of you that are struggling with this to remember that Love is LOUDER than anything you'll face. You're not alone. You are worth so much more than you know. These feelings of being too stupid or not good enough...they are just bringing me down...and I'm working on getting better. But, if you feel this way too...know that I love you. And it will get better. We can get through this together.
LOVE IS LOUDER! <3
XO
Kymber.
http://www.loveislouder.com/
